I need to be sent to the naughty corner. Take away my toys and give me no dessert. I've been a bad, bad girl.
Losing weight isn't as simple as science for me. I've been told too many times to count that losing weight IS as simple as science. Less calories in, more calories out. Move more, eat less. I get that it's that simple, but not for me (and many others, I'm sure). There's the mind games, the excuses (oh, the excuses), the life getting in the way. There's putting myself last, there's more mind games, and there's just not enough time in the day.
I've been skinnier. I've probably muttered these words to someone else, "All you have to do is eat less and move more." And I know I'm guilty of gloating this fine sentence more than once, "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels."
And here I am. Sitting in the naughty corner, feeling sorry for myself. I don't deserve the self-pity. There will be no pity party here. There's just honesty. I honestly haven't counted points since I stepped on those scales for the first time so many weeks ago.
Why? Because there was laundry to do, little people to play with, work to be done…
Why? Because losing weight overwhelms me right now. I've put on so much weight that being a better me feels unattainable. It feels beyond my reach.
With a little gentle nudging from friends and a little tough love from family, I know what I need to do now. I need to break it down. I need to create smaller goals that are within in my grasp. I need to put myself first. Put my health first. Be a better role model. Be a better mama.
And as Lucy said last week, "The time will pass by regardless. You can do something about it, or you can choose not to. Think about how you'll feel in a year's time. Do you want to look back with regret, or do you want to look back and feel immeasurably better?"
I want to feel better. So… I will. I'll do better. As best I can.
